Charlie, The Model, and The Stalker
by Greyhawk750
Summary: Charlie has a date with a model, but Rose has other ideas. Please RR
1. Chapter 1

'Morning, Berta' Charlie mumbled as he stumbled towards the table and sat down, resting his head on the table.

'Drunk again', Jake asked as he took a bite of cereal

'Yeah, just a little bit, but at least he made it to the kitchen this time. Usually, he just makes it as far as the hallway', she replied as she poured Charlie his morning cup of coffee

'Oh just great, drunk as usual' Alan whined as he poured himself a glass of milk

'Yeah but at least he made it to the kitchen, this time', Jake said

'Jake get ready for school', his dad instructed

'But it's Saturday' his son replied

'Go get dressed so you'll be ready for school on Monday' Alan said

'If you want me to leave, just say so' Jake replied

'Jake, now' His father instructed in a firm tone

Jake left and Alan turned to his brother and said 'We have a child in this house'

'Which was only supposed to be for a few weeks. As a matter of fact, weren't you supposed to have been out of here a year ago' Charlie said as he finally sat up and took a sip of coffee

'You know I'm busy saving' Alan replied

'Yeah for Judith's alimony, and when you get married again, her alimony' Charlie stated.

'You sleep with a different girl every night and spend most of your day either face down in the hallway, or hunched over the toilet. What kind of message does that send Jake', Alan asked

'That I'm the cool one' Charlie replied with a wry smile

'Charlie I'm serious. You can't keep sleeping with every girl who happens to have a pulse'

'Why not' his brother asked

'Because I CAN'T' Alan intoned

'So I can't have my own sex-life, just because no woman in their right mind would go out with you' Charlie asked

'I do have a sex-life' Alan informed

'Oh yeah. How much did it cost you, again' Berta asked as she wiped down the counter

'For the last time, I didn't know she was an' (Alan lowers his voice) 'Escort'

Berta refilled Charlie's coffee mug and grabbed the clothes basker

'How come you don't pour my coffee' Alan asked

'When you pay my salary, I'll pour your coffee' Berta replied as she left with the laundry.


	2. Chapter 2

It was later on in the afternoon and Jake was in the living room, playing on the computer

'Whatcha doing', Alan asked his son

'Playing slots on the internet'

'Slots', Alan asked as he walked over and stood behind him

'Yeah, I found this on the internet' his son replied

'Looks like fun' His father replied as he watched over his shoulder, as Charlie came downstairs

'What are you guys doing' Charlie asked

'Slots' Jake and Alan said, in unison.

'I've hit 3 jackpots in a row. I'm rich' Jake exclaimed

'You know that's not real money, right' Alan asked

'Yeah I know. But there's a link on the bottom of the screen that will let us play for real' Jake replied

'I don't think so' Alan said

'No. Really there is' Jake informed, pointing to the screen and added 'I've hit the jackpot three times in a row and have a billion dollars'

'Great. Then you won't mind paying your share of the bills around here', Charlie said as he walked over to the mini-bar

'First of all, you're only 10 years old and second of all, a 10 year old shouldn't be gambling' Alan said

'Uncle Charlie said he played craps in school' Jake said

'Thanks a lot, Charlie', Alan grunted as he glared at his brother

'Oh come on. Let him piss away his allowance. It would be a good life lesson for the lil' snot-eater', Charlie said

'I didn't eat it on purpose. The booger just fell in my mouth' Jake retorted

'Well first of all, you need a credit card, which you don't have' Alan said

'You have one' Charlie said

'Don't you have somebody you should be humping, right about now' Alan asked

'I have money. If you let me borrow the credit card, I can pay you in cash right now' Jake said

'Ok. But don't come begging for more money when you lose... and you will... lose your allowance' Alan replied as he reached for his wallet

'I got $50' Jake replied

'And you've been letting me buy the groceries, all this time' Charlie said as he poured himself a vodka

'How did you get $50' Alan asked

'Birthday money from Grandma' Jake said as he turned his attention back to the computer screen

'Mom never gave us any birthday money. Come to think of it, she never got us a birthday cake either. Just some stale crackers and her telling us to pretend it's a birthday cake' Alan whined to his brother

'Why would she give you money' Charlie asked

'I dunno. Something about me being the only person in the family who gave a damn' Jake replied, without even looking away from the screen

'Well he has a point', Charlie replied as he downed the drink


	3. Chapter 3

'Scooch' Alan said as Jake got off the char

Alan fumbled for his wallet, but not before asking Jake to provide the $50.00

'Hang on, it's in a secret compartment'

'You mean under the mattress? I've known about that for months' Berta said and she walked into the room, as Jake shot her a funny look and whined 'Great now I need to find a new compartment' as he went up stairs

'You know, they have these places called 'banks'' Alan hollered.

'I knew it. I knew you were the one taking money from under my mattress', Charlie shot back at Berta

'You keep your money under the mattress', Alan asked

'Great, now I need to go and find a new hiding place', Charlie grunted as he quickly downed another shot of vodka

'Why don't you put the money in the bank like a responsible adult... oh, look who I'm asking' Alan said as he turned back around to the computer screen

'I always keep some money hidden around, for emergencies' Charlie said

'What kind of emergency' Alan asked

'Well, say it's 2'oclock in the morning and I am horny and need a hooker. They don't take plastic, Alan'

'Hard to argue with logic like that', Alan said as he rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to the computer screen

A few moments later and Jake returned and handed his dad some money

'Ok before I do this I want to make sure that you're sure' Alan said

'Come on, how can I lose', Jake retorted

'There are people who go to Las Vegas, thinking they're going to break the bank, and wind up literally losing everything they have' Alan said

'I hit the jackpot 3 times in a row. I can't miss', Jake whined

'That's how they sucker you in. Everybody wins when you play for free, but when you start playing for real, it will be a lot tougher' Alan said

'3 times in a row', Jake reminded

'Ok, but don't come crying to me when you lose your money'. Alan said

He entered the credit card information, and turned to Jake and said 'Ok, good luck'

There was a knock on the door, as Berta went to answer it and a few moments later returned with one of Charlie's many girlfriends

'Hey Charlie' she greeted with a kiss

'Oh hey, Amanda' he greeted as he poured her a drink

'You know I don't drink any more. Every time I drink I can't control myself', she said

'I know', Charlie replied with a smile as he handed her the drink

'There is a special place in Hell for people like you', Alan said as he glared at his brother

'Oh come off it, Alan' Charlie said as he and Amanda kissed

'I hit the jackpot', Jake announced with excitement

'You're kidding. You did', his father asked as he quickly made his way to where he was sitting

'Yeah, I won 50 cents', he said

'How much did you lose' Berta asked

'Just $10' Jake replied

'Then you didn't win 50 cents. You lost $9.50' Alan replied

'I prefer to look at the glass as being half-full' Jake said as he turned his attention back to the screen

'So, what did you want to do' Charlie asked as he kissed Amanda again'

She smiled and said 'Oh I think you know'

'Great run upstairs and I'll bring up a bottle of wine and the whipped cream' Charlie said

'Whipped cream', Alan said as he looked at his brother in disgust

'Like you wouldn't' Charlie said as he rummaged for a bottle of wine

'Aren't you afraid of karma... you know... you get what you deserve, stuff like that' Alan asked

'No not really' Charlie said as a knock was at the door and Alan went to answer it

A few minutes later, and Alan returned with a well-dressed gentleman

'Who are you', Charlie asked as had a bottle of wine in one hand, and some wine glasses and a tub of whipped cream the other

'It's karma', Alan replied with a smug look on his face

'What'? Charlie asked

'This gentleman happens to be Amanda's father'

'Ohhhh I got a baaaaad feeling about this' Charlie groaned


	4. Chapter 4

'Sit down' he commanded as he pointed to the sofa

Charlie apprehensively did as he was told, as the other gentleman sat down on the chair directly in front of him.

He turned to Alan and said 'I don't mean to be rude, but I would like to speak to your brother in private'

Alan tapped Jake on the arm

'But I'm winning' he whined

'Now, Jake' his father commanded as they both went up stairs

He turned to Charlie and said 'Amanda is my only daughter and is very special to me'

'She's special to me too, sir' he replied

He nodded and replied 'That's good. However, I must be rather frank and blunt. I want you to stay away from her'

Charlie cleared his throat and said 'With all due respect sir, we're both adults'

He smiled and said 'I'm not asking you son. I'm telling you. If you know what's good for you, stay away from her'

Charlie stood up and said 'Is that a threat'

He shrugged and said 'Take it however you want it to sound'

'Listen old man...' Charlie intoned

He held his hand up and interrupted 'Charlie, I'm not saying this to protect her. I'm saying this to spare your feelings. She's broken many hearts, and I don't want to see her break another'

Charlie sat back down

He sighed and continued 'I love my Amanda dearly, and it breaks my heart to say this, but she has lived a somewhat provocative and promiscuous life. My wife, God rest her soul and I, have tried to raise her right, and with the morals and values we grew up with. I don't know where we failed her'

Charlie remained silent as he went on and said 'One minute she's telling you she loves you, and the next moment, she's moved on to the next gentleman'

'Oh hi, Daddy', Amanda chimed as she made her way down the stairs

'Hi there, Angel' he greeted with a kiss on the cheek

'So how are my two favorite men getting along', she asked

'Quiet well, thank you' he replied

Berta walked in from the laundry room

'Oh Mr. Davis, this is Berta' Charlie introduced

'Charmed' he replied as he gently kissed her hand

'He is Amanda's father', Alan replied as he made his way down the stairs

Berta laughed and said 'I'll be right back'

'Where are you going', Alan asked

'I'm going to get some popcorn. No way in hell am I missing this one', she said as she went into the kitchen


	5. Chapter 5

Charlie was already in bed fast asleep, as a 'thump' was heard down stairs

'Thump' the sound went again

'What the hell is that', Charlie wondered out loud, still half asleep

He felt a hand gently stroke his cheek

'It's just Jake. Close your eyes, sweetie' Rose said

'Thanks Rose, Charlie mumbled, still half asleep

It took Charlie about 5 seconds to register, then he fully woke up

'Rose, what the hell are you doing here', he accused as he flipped on the light switch

'Oh, Charlie I thought we had moved beyond that' Rose said with a smile

'How... I changed the locks', he said, flabbergasted

'Oh it's just one of my many unique attributes'

'You picked the lock, didn't you' he asked

'Yeah, pretty much' she replied

'I don't think you understand how a restraining order works', Charlie said as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, glancing at the clock and saw it was 2am

'That's what Mike said'

'What... who's Mike', Charlie asked.

'Oh you don't know him', Rose said

Charlie sat down on the foot of the bed

'So what did you want to do', Rose said

'Go back to sleep and pretend this never happened' he retorted

'You want to fool around', she asked

'Yeah, actually I do' Charlie said

'Oh great, I was beginning to feel that you weren't interested in me' she said with a smile

Charlie grabs his cell phone and starts to dial

'Hey Amanda, I've been thinking about you. Want to come on over'?

'Oh Charlie, why must you chase women who will only break your heart', Rose asked as she placed her hand on his shoulder

'Because at least I know she won't break into my house, tie me up and blindfold me, when I am in a drunken stupor

'You do it just once and nobody let's you forget it', she said with a sigh


End file.
